I am a child of the light
who has known the deepest darkness.
I am tempted and tortured
by the very pain you are
except in a different way.
It comes into my house, my heart
but only after I accept it.
I foolishly think I can change
darkness into light on my own.
When I let the darkness into my home
it burrows into my soul, my sacred fire
my deepest creativity, my passion
my reason, and my reason for living.
No matter how I try, I
cannot change the darkness.
The darkness consumes me
when I give in to doubt.
The darkness tells me
everything I believe in is a lie
there is no purpose in this world
nothing worth living or dying for.
The darkness tells me
there is no love, only hatred.
Everyone I know wants to hurt me
and I should hurt them before they can.
I drink a lot of beer from time to time,
swear like a sailor when I am sober,
eat salt and vinegar potato chips, and
love my local sports teams a little too much.
But I will never give in to the darkness.
published in current issue Canadian Stories
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