my New Year's poem for Stuart Ross

I thought I was dying last year
thought I was dying the year before as well
just thought it was old age - 74
drove to hospital in the middle of the night
had 8 blood transfusions
now I get a special pension for vampires
when I woke up from surgery
there was a spiffy new vest of industrial staples
from my tits to below my navel
the surgeon wanted them removed
I thought they looked cool
some people would pay thousands
to have body art like this
the cancer came out with 1/3 of my large intestine
which the surgeon lopped off like a piece of kolbasa
I don't know how to spell kolbasa
I feel pretty good for a resurrected vampire
I bought a shiny red sports car the week
my metallic vest was removed
Today, New year's Day 2023
I drove my shiny red sports car
at high speed up and down the Cordova Road
we made a lot of noise
Happy New Year's Day 2023

my surgeon says I could live another 25 years with clean living
he thinks this is a good thing